This blog is being written with a concern for our children, particularly those in elementary school. The concern is bullying: bullying in our schools, in our homes, and in cyber-space. A bully, as I’m sure you know, is one who treats another abusively. Bullying consists of repeated acts, over time, that involve a real or perceived imbalance of power. A victim of bullying may experience loneliness, depression, anxiety, increased susceptibility to illness and, ultimately, suicide. The latest statistics indicate that perhaps 2% of bullied victims succumb to suicide. While 2% may be a small number, it grows in stature when it is in your home, on your block, in your classroom.
In 2007, bullying statistics showed that the state in which I live, Illinois, ranked third highest among states for reported incidents of bullying. In a 2010 survey in a local McHenry County school district, over 20% of the children in Middle School and over 15% in high school reported having been in a fight in school. Over 10% admitted to carrying a weapon (club, knife or gun) to school. In spring of 2010, an 18-year-old student in Johnsburg committed suicide after almost a decade of relentless bullying in school.
We’ve come to a place where we have to take stock of ourselves. I’m not interested in placing blame on parents, teachers, media or the kid next door. I am interested in turning the tide. All of us who know a child, who are citizens of this country, who live in this world, starting today, need to take responsibility to make this deadly trend past history. Believe me when I tell you, it is possible. They’re just kids. We can teach them.
I am a mother, grandmother, retired teacher, religious educator and peace activist. Born and raised in Chicago, I graduated from St. Xavier College (now University) and earned a Masters in Religious Education from Loyola University of New Orleans. I married Jay Fox, now a retired English teacher. We moved to Crystal Lake in McHenry County, Illlinois in 1975, where together we raised our four daughters.
I am not a psychologist, a social worker or a medical professional. I do not have THE ULTIMATE CURE FOR BULLIES. But over the last twenty-five years, my friend and colleague Claire Perez and I have worked with children teaching habits and attitudes of peacemaking. We’ve run retreats, workshops, day camps and overnight camps and we’ve written a series of four books, Peacemakers: The New Generation. I think what we’ve learned can be of help. That is the purpose of this blog.
Over time, Claire and I learned that rearing a peaceful person is a multi-faceted goal. So we narrowed our approach down to five areas of concentration or five characteristics of a peaceful person. They are:
· Positive Self-Identity
· Respect for Human Dignity
· Resilience
· Forgiveness
· Effective Communication
These are by no means the only five areas of focus, but they are a beginning. We believe that if we are deliberate and strategic about teaching children, we can help them grow to be confident, compassionate and productive citizens.
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