Forgiveness: Part 3

The following activity focuses on the symbol of shaking hands as a sign of reconciliation.When an adult witnesses two children arguing or even fighting, it is often wise to step back and let the children work it out.  Usually they have a natural propensity toward apology, forgiveness and reconciliation and they learn well from their experience.  But sometimes, the argument escalates, gets out of control and a valuable relationship falls into jeopardy.  It is then that adult guidance is needed.

Forgiveness is the act of granting peace to the offender by releasing a grudge.  It is often, but not always, preceded by an apology, the admission of responsibility for the offense.  The ideal result of combining forgiveness and apology is reconciliation.  To reconcile is, at best, to bring together again in love or friendship.  At least, it means to reach a compromise agreement.

Michael Hyatt of Intentional Leadership writes that reconciliation only happens when three phrases are used:  “I’m sorry.  I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?”  I would add two more phrases: “Yes, I forgive you.  Let’s be friends.”

The words, however, are empty unless they are stimulated by attitudes of responsibility, humility, empathy and patience.

• ·         Responsibility:  “I’m sorry” means I played an active role in offending you.  It may have been accidental, but it was at my hand and I truly regret it.  “Yes, I forgive you”  indicates willingness to do what is necessary to maintain the friendship.
• ·         Humility: It is seldom easy to admit to being wrong. We teach children the value of this behavior when we respond to their mistakes with understanding and forgiveness.  Of course, nothing teaches as clearly as watching how we react to our own errors.  Are we defensive, too proud to acknowledge our faults?  Or do we humbly concede our culpability, repair the damages and move on?
• ·         Empathy:  It is not enough to mutter, “Sorry” or “Just kidding” when we have hurt a friend.  It is important that a child realize just how he has offended another.  It is helpful to encourage him to name the offense and describe how he would feel under the same circumstances.  When he’s ready, the apology needs to identify the transgression:   “I am sorry I embarrassed you when I told that story at school.”  In this way, the wounded child knows for sure that his suffering has been understood and the offender is sure he has been duly forgiven.
• ·         Patience:  Reconciliation is a process that takes time.  Emotions need to die down.  Children need to think through all that has happened.  Adults need to respect the child’s struggle by guiding her, “When you are ready, you can apologize… you can forgive her…you can be friends again.”  This seldom takes as long for children as it can for proud and stubborn adults, but it is not fair to expect it to happen in a matter of minutes.

Activity  

Shaking Hands

Adapted from Peacemakers: The New Generation Grades 4-6, p. 36

Materials:  None

Purpose: To experience what is needed for reconciliation

Gather in the Circle of Peace.  Tell the children what you know about Golda Meir.  She was the first woman elected Prime Minister of Israel from 1969-1974.  She was often portrayed as the “strong-willed, straight-talking, gray-bunned grandmother of the Jewish people.”  Her dream was for peace in the Middle East.  She worked with world leaders including President Nixon and Pope Paul VI to establish a peace initiative to end the “War of Attrition.”

She said, “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.”

Ask, when there has been a falling out between two friends, what needs to happen in order to repair the relationship?  When is it important to apologize?  What does it mean to forgive? Explain that when there is sincere apology and true forgiveness we have reconciliation,   a bringing together again in love or friendship.     

Invite each child to choose a partner. Explain that in many societies a handshake is a symbol of friendship. It is also a symbol of reconciliation.  Reiterate Golda Meir’s quote: “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.”

Ask the children to pretend to be angry with their partners and to make clenched fists to show it.  Can they shake hands as friends?  What would have to happen in order to shake hands? (Apologies, forgiveness, open and relaxed hands)Reconciliation takes away the anger and eases the clenched fist.  Reconciliation makes it possible to restore the friendship.

Invite the children to trace their hands in their journals and fill them with the quote from Golda Meir.  Close the Circle with a Handshake of Peace.

For more information and to purchase Peacemakers: The New Generation books, please visit: http://www.peacemakerstng.com/

Forgiveness, Part 2

On October 2, 2008, the world was stunned by the news from Nickel Mines, a rural town in Southern Lancaster County.  A man, insane with grief over the loss of his first-born daughter, rushed into an Amish school house and shot ten little girls, before taking his own life.  Five of the children died.

But, perhaps even more stunning was the response of the Amish community, including those families who had lost a child.  They forgave the shooter.  They reached out to comfort his family who had lost a husband/father/son.  They brought the family food and promised to be good neighbors to them.  When money poured in from around the world to help defray medical and funeral costs, the victims shared it with the killer’s family.

Dr. Donald Kraybill, co-author of Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy, (See more here.) interviewed dozens of families from the Nickel Mines community, asking them to define forgiveness.  The most common answer was “forgiveness means giving up a grudge.”  In an essay on the topic, Dr. Kraybill writes: “One Amish farmer told me, ‘Acid corrodes the container that holds it.  That’s what happens when we hold on to bitterness.’”

What’s remarkable about this story is that we find it so remarkable!  Our culture is not geared for forgiveness.  Our response is more often to “get even,”  “pay back”  “teach him a lesson.”  But looking at how that attitude only escalates the violence in this country makes me think it’s not working so well for us.

Dr. Kraybill writes: “An Amish father who lost a daughter in the schoolhouse offered a slightly different definition: ‘For me, forgiveness means giving up my right to revenge.”

What if we taught our children this?  What if we showed them that forgiveness is harder than revenge, but it is better, because it brings peace? Holding a grudge is exhausting work.  It sits in our hearts like a rock.  It pops up in most unexpected ways, ruining our days over and over again.  Forgiveness releases the forgiver from that bondage and allows one to get on with life.  Even if there is no apology and, therefore, no reconciliation, forgiveness brings peace to the victim.

Just to be clear, forgiveness does not mean the offense is excused or accepted..  Nor does it mean that the offense is completely understandable.  One can forgive and still demand recompense.  What forgiveness does is release the anger, resentment, or hate building up in one’s heart.  It takes time and effort and often repeated resolve, but it is worth it to have a peaceful heart. Dr. Kraybill assures us that in Nickel Mines the Amish, for the most part, have been able to move forward in what they call “the new normal.”

Activity  

A Lesson in a Bottle

Adapted from Peacemakers: The New Generation Grades 4-6, pages 44-45

Forgiveness is the act of granting peace to the offender by releasing a grudge.  The very act of forgiveness brings peace to the forgiver as well.  It allows the parties to move past the injury and offers hope for the future.  There can be no peace without forgiveness.

Materials:  One 2-liter empty plastic bottle and cap, tub of colored water, pitcher, awl or other sharp instrument to pierce holes in the bottle, optional: two-liter bottles of soda to share with the group at the end.

Purpose: To demonstrate how forgives relieves pain and brings peace to the forgiver

Preparation:  Poke four or five holes around the base of the empty bottle

Gather in the Circle of Peace.  Ask the children to consider this.  Suppose there is a group of people who want to be friends.  However, in the group there are some bullies who are really mean to others.  One of the bully targets decides to leave the group so he will be safe, away from the bullies.  Can he be at peace now?

What if the victim is still angry or sad or afraid?  What is needed to bring him peace in his new surroundings?

Demonstrate the following.

Uncap the bottle.  Holding it over the tub of water say, “Once there was a nice person who really wants to live in peace.”

With one hand, ruffle the water in the tub saying, “There was a community of people.  Some were friendly.  Some were not.”

Lower the bottle into the water.  Say, “The nice person joined the group.”

Scoop up a pitcher of water from the tub and hold it up.  Say, “This represents the pain caused by the bullies in the group.”

Pour the water into the bottle.  When it is full, keep the bottle in the tub, twist the cap back on. Say, “This was how the nice person sealed the pain and anger inside.

As long as he stayed in the group, he knew he would be filled with pain and resentment.  So one day he decided to leave.”

Pull the bottle from the water.  It will stay full.  Say, “Leaving the group was not enough to heal the pain.  It became clear that wherever the nice person went he would be taking the anger and hurt with him.  There was something very important he had to do if he was ever to feel at peace again.”

Wave one arm around to indicate the air. Say, “This is the spirit of forgiveness.  If he was ever to feel better, the nice person needed to allow forgiveness to enter his heart.  It was the only way the pain could go away.  But for weeks, he kept the pain and anger and fear bottled up inside him.  Finally, after praying for courage, he chose to uncap the pain and let forgiveness fill his heart.”

Still holding it up, uncap the bottle and watch the water pour out as the air pushes it down. End by saying, “Filled with forgiveness, the nice person was once again at peace.”

Ask the children what they learned from the lesson in the bottle.  Suggested discussion questions are:

·        

·        Where does forgiveness come from?

·        Is forgiveness just a feeling or is it a choice?

·        When you are really angry, sad or scared, how can you make the choice to forgive?

·        Can you forgive if there is no apology?

Can you forgive if the offender is not even there

I

I  Take a minute of silence to ask God to bring a spirit of forgiveness into the hearts of all present.  Bring out the bottles of soda to share and celebrate the joy of forgiveness.

For more information and to purchase Peacemakers: The New Generation books, please  visit: http://www.peacemakerstng.com/

Forgiveness, Part 1

Forgiveness, Part 1

This scene is not uncommon in a preschool classroom.  Two little girls walk in arm –in-arm, best of friends.  Twenty minutes into the morning, they are arguing over who gets the sparkly shoes in the dress-up corner.  At snack, they refuse to sit together; no longer friends.  At the end of the day, out they stroll, arm-in-arm, BFFs!

Small children easily say, “I’m sorry.” And just as easily forgive. Laurie A. Gray, JD, of Socratic Parenting LLC , makes the same observation, “Children have a natural ability to forgive because their tendency is to live in the present moment,”  This may be why we have no discussion of forgiveness in our preschool-kindergarten Peacemakers: The New Generation book. 

Now move forward a decade to Middle School.  BFFs on Monday can be not speaking on Wednesday and by Friday are gossiping and plotting against one another.  What happened?  Gray suggests that we, the adults in their lives, are inadvertently responsible, “We teach them to keep score, to compare themselves to others and to worry about the future. We hold onto grudges and remind them of past wrongs and hurts.”

To turn this around, we need to be deliberate about teaching our children the value of reconciliation.  Conflict is a natural consequence of living with one another. When each of us is created uniquely, there are bound to be disagreements and opposing viewpoints. This easily turns into contentious behavior which often leads to pain. Without forgiveness, we cannot have peace.  As our children grow in society and become distracted by the lure of popularity, material goods, notoriety of success, they are bound to clash with one another and to hurt one another.  It is our job to show them how to negotiate their way through these conflicts.

Claire Perez and I teach about forgiveness on three tiers: apology, forgiveness and reconciliation.  It is possible to apologize without being forgiven and it is possible to forgive without having heard an apology.  Either can leave us with a sense of peace and a freedom to move on. But the perfect formula is to blend both elements, apology and forgiveness,  to bring about reconciliation.

We start with apology. Apology takes ownership of a poor choice of action.  It involves five steps:

·         Confess our role in an offensive action.  Make no excuses.  Simply admit, “I did it.”

·         Accept the consequences.  Understand that you may have lost a friend, sullied your reputation, or given up a privilege as a result of your action.

·          Ask forgiveness.  Specifically say, “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.”  Understand that forgiveness might not be forthcoming, but we have done the right thing in asking.

·          Offer restitution.  Be prepared to repair the damages in any way possible.

·          Determine to change future choices.  Show our sincerity by acting differently from now on.

We all make mistakes at some time in our lives.  It is painful to live with the regret.  Sincere apology eases that pain and helps us focus on learning the lesson and being a better person.

Activity  

We took this familiar activity and turned it into a play to portray the lesson.

Scar (A Play)

From Peacemakers: The New Generation, Grades 1-3, pp12-14

Materials:  Three 8”x 10” copies of a smiling face (two for practice, one for the performance) script for “Scar,” five child actors, one adult narrator

Purpose:  To help children realize the lasting, painful effects of bullying and ridicule.  To help children learn the components of a sincere apology.

Preparation:  Ask for five volunteers to be in a little play for the other children.  Sometime previous to the event, take them to another room to practice.

When you are ready, gather the children in the Circle of Peace and explain that they are going to watch a short play.

Script

Five children stand in a row, facing the audience.  Narrator sits on a stool at the beginning of the row, a little forward of the line.

Narrator:  Sometimes people forget to love one another.  When they do, they are sometimes rude and mean to one another.  It hurts our feelings when someone is mean to us, and it’s hard to forget about it later.  Here is a story about four classmates who forgot they were friends.

First child holds up a picture of a smiling face.

Narrator:  This is Jane.  She is usually a happy child.  Her Mommy and Daddy love her.  Her teacher thinks she is a great kid.  Jane’s clothes are kind of old-fashioned.  Because she stutters when she talks, she is shy with people she is just getting to know.  She’s not very good at reading.

Jane is kind.  She likes to share.  She is good at sports.  However, because she is a little different, some children don’t like her.  Here is what happened one day.

First child passes the picture to the second child.

Narrator:  The teacher told the children that the class was going to put on a play.  It would be about a Prince and a Princess and a Dragon.  Parents would be invited to come.  Other people could also come if they wanted.  After recess,  children who wanted a part I the play could meet with the teacher to try out.

Everyone was so excited! Jane thought she would like to be part of the play.  She smiled as she thought of telling her family about it.

Then one child walked up to her and said, “What are you smiling about?  Don’t tell me you think you could be in the play!”

Second child folds the picture in half, creases it and hands it to the third child.

Narrator:  “Y-y-yess.  I Th-think it would be f-f-fun,” said Jane.

“F-F-Fun?” mocked another child.  “Y-y-you can’t even t-t-talk!” And she laughed in Jane’s face.

Third child folds the picture in half again, creases it and hands it to the fourth child.

Narrator:  Another child heard the laughing and came over.  When he realized what was happening, he joined in.  “It’s a good thing there will be costumes, so you don’t have to wear your weird clothes, “  he roared.

Fourth child crumples the picture into a ball, tightly squeezes it and hands it to the fifth child.

Narrator:  “Ha!” said another child scornfully, “I bet you can’t even read the script!  We’ll have to let you be the dog.  Woof-woof!”  All the children howled with laughter.

Fifth child drops the picture on the floor and stomps on it with his foot.

Narrator:  Poor Jane began to cry. 

Then a friend came over.  “Why are you being so mean?” she asked the other children.  “Can’t you see how sad you are making her?  Jane is one of us.  She belongs to our class and she belongs in our play if she wants to be.  You shouldn’t make her cry.”

The other children listened to their friend.  They looked at Jane’s sad face and they felt sorry for what they had done.

Fifth child picks up the picture and begins to uncrumple it.

Fifth Child:  I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.

Hands the picture to the Fourth child.

Fourth child uncrumples the picture some more.

Fourth child:  I hope you’ll try out for the play.

Hands the picture to the Third child.

Third child unfolds the second crease and smooths out the picture.

Third Child:  Please forgive me for making you cry.

Hands the picture to the Second child.

Second child unfolds the last crease and smoothes the picture out.

Second Child:  I’ll help you read the script before the try-outs.

Hands the picture to the First child.

First child smooths the picture some more and holds it up for all to see.

Narrator:  Jane was smiling again.  She was happy about trying out for the play.  Now she knew she had friends.

 But notice this:  Even though the children smoothed things out with Jane, there are still wrinkles.  When we hurt people’s feelings, embarrass them or point out their differences, they are never quite the same. It takes a long time for the scars to heal and the wrinkles to go away.

The children in Jane’s class were really sincere when they told her they were sorry.  They proved it over the weeks and months to come by being friendly and supportive of their little classmate.  In time, Jane was able to forget about her sad day and just be a happy member of the class.

Begin clapping in rhythm, singing an appropriately happy song such as, “If You’re Happy and You Know It.”  Take a bow!

Process this lesson by recalling the five steps of a sincere apology: 

·         Confess our role in an offensive action.   

·         Accept the consequences.   

·          Ask forgiveness

·          Offer restitution.   

·          Determine to change future choices

For more information and to purchase Peacemakers: The New Generation books, please visit: http://www.peacemakerstng.com/

Resilience

Resilience  

       It was snack time for the three-year-olds at Thunderbird Preschool.  A little boy reached out and accidently knocked over his cup.  As the milk rolled across the table, down onto his chair and to the floor, his face changed from a look of surprise to one of despair.  I was sure there would be tears.  But, before I could even begin to reassure him, his classmate Abigail jumped up, napkin in hand, saying, “My Mommy says, ‘These things happen!’”  With that bit of wisdom, she cheerfully wiped up the spill!

        How pleased I was with Abigail and how proud of her Mommy!  She was teaching her children resilience in the face of adversity.  Resilience is the ability to recover rapidly from disappointment or misfortune.  Resilience gives one the strength to face difficulties head-on.  It is a gem of a characteristic with many facets.  We have several ingredients in our recipe for resilience:

• ·         Trust. Children need to believe and rely on the people in the community, as well as themselves.
• ·         Creative Problem-solving. Children can be taught to “think outside the box,” to look at a problem from many sides.
• ·         Gratitude.  Awareness of one’s blessings can save one from drowning in self-pity.
• ·         Heroes.  Children need models of resilient people to inspire them and pave the way.
• ·         Humor.  Understanding the ironies of life helps a child laugh off the small things.
• ·         Hope.  Everyone needs to believe that good things do happen and we can help make them come to be.

No matter how well we protect them, our children might skin a knee, miss an opportunity, be rejected.  They might fall prey to a bully. A child who lives with daily abuse, be it from a bully at school, a racist community or an addict in the family, is bound to develop an inner anxiety and self-doubt. Parents, teachers, and other loving adults need to be alert to the grief and, using the above ingredients, fortify their children with an inner resilience.

Children of even the best parents will make mistakes in their lives.  No matter how caring and attentive we are, they might spill their milk.  As they grow they might fail a test, tell a lie, or hurt someone.  Mistakes happen. 

We adults best help children when we show them that it is not the end of the world.  We help by standing with them and showing them, as Abigail’s Mommy did, how to

1.      Take responsibility for the consequences of their mistakes (wipe up the milk).

2.      Learn from their mistakes (in the future, be sure the cup is further from the edge of the table).

3.      Get on with life (enjoy your pretzels)!

Discuss or journal:  Where does your own resilience come from?

                        Do you have a pet phrase to help the child in your heart work through a disappointment or pain?

Activity  

In the primary grades children know the disappointment of broken promises.  They know that a lie is purposely misleading and they know that it is wrong.  What we adults can help them identify is how distrust affects relationships and disrupts the community.

In the following activity, children will experience how trust can be inadvertently hampered when there is not enough information.  Hopefully, they will begin to rely on their own experience and knowledge coupled with input from other reliable sources to discover what is and isn’t true.

Piecing It Together

From Peacemakers: The New Generation, Grades 1-3, pages 37-38

Materials: A large picture (about 11x 14 or bigger), self-stick notes (3” squares), board or newsprint, Story “The Three Blind Men and the Elephant” (See below)

Purpose:  To understand that sometimes we have only part of the truth and we need more to get the whole picture or the whole truth.

Preparation: Cover the entire picture with self-stick notes so that each can be lifted without disturbing the others.  Set the picture aside, facing away from the children.

In the Circle of Peace, tell the story of the “The Three Blind Men and the Elephants” (below) .

Process the story by asking:

            What did the men think they were feeling?

            When they describe what they felt, were they correct?

            Were they stupid?

            Were they lying?

            How could they finally figure out the truth?

Explain to the children that sometimes we have only a small piece of the truth on which to base our actions.  When we do, we must be careful not to judge too quickly.

When we have only small pieces of information, we need to share with others to find out what they know.  Then, putting the pieces together, we can come closer to the truth.  The more pieces we have, the more we can trust our conclusions.

Ask:

            What would have happened if the blind men had shared their information with one another?

            Would they have been closer to understanding what an elephant is?

Propose a game.  Display the picture.  Invite each child to approach the picture, one at a time, and look under just one self-stick note to reveal a portion of the picture.

When all have had a turn, give each child a chance to say, “I saw _____, so I think the picture is _____.”

Record each guess on the board or newsprint.

When all have reported their “piece of the truth,” ask if anyone wishes to change her guess based on what the others saw.  When all are satisfied, uncover the picture and compare the guesses with the reality.

Explain that often we think we know the truth when we haven’t examined all the evidence.  This is called making a mistake.  It isn’t really lying unless we purposely mislead someone.  It is always best to gather as much information as possible before making a judgment.

                                                Reproducible for classroom use only. Copyright 2007 E.T.Nedder Publishing

Three Blind Men and the Elephant

The original parable originated in China sometime during the Han Dynasty (202BC-220AD) and goes something like this:

One day three blind men happened to meet each other and talked a long time.  Suddenly one of them recalled, “I heard that an elephant is a strange sort of animal.  Too bad we’re blind and can’t see it.”

            It so happened that a merchant with a herd of elephants was passing, and overheard their conversation.  “You fellows, do you really want to feel an elephant?  Then follow me.  I will show you,” he said.

Taking one another’s hand, they quickly formed a line and followed while the merchant led the way.

After reaching their destination, the merchant led the first blind man to feel the elephant.  With an outstretched hand, he touched first the left foreleg and then the right.  After that he felt the two legs from the top to the bottom, and with a beaming face, turned to say, “So, the queer animal is just like that.”  Then he slowly returned to the group.

Thereupon the second blind man was led to the rear of the elephant.  He touched the tail which wagged a few times, and he exclaimed with satisfaction, “Ha!  Truly a queer animal! Truly odd! I know now.  I know.”  He hurriedly stepped aside.

The third blind man’s turn came, and he touched the elephant’s trunk which moved back and forth turning and twisting and he thought, “That’s it!  I’ve learned.”

The three blind men thanked the merchant and went their way.  The second blind man blurted out, “This queer animal is like our straw fans swinging back and forth to give us a breeze.  However, it’s not so big or well made.  The main portion is rather wispy.”

“No, no!” the first blind man shouted in disagreement.  “This queer animal resembles two big trees without any branches.”

“You’re both wrong,” the third man replied.  “This queer animal is similar to a snake; it’s long and round and very strong.”

How they argued!  Each one insisted that he alone was correct.  Of course, there was no conclusion, for no one had thoroughly examined the whole elephant.

How can anyone describe the whole until he has learned the total of parts?

Reprinted with permission from Chinese Folk Tales by Louise and Yuan His Kuo  copyright 1976 by Celestial Arts, Berkeley, CA, www.tenspeed.com

For more information and to purchase Peacemakers: The New Generation books, please visit: http://www.peacemakerstng.com/

Respect for Human Dignity

Respect for Human Dignity

            A group of preschoolers had gathered to watch a cartoon, “Rudolph the Red –Nose Reindeer.”  Suddenly Amelia burst out, “That’s wrong!  I don’t like Santa!”

I was just beginning to question the story myself, so I was quick to ask, “What’s wrong, Amelia?  What don’t you like?”

            “Santa made Rudolph cover up his nose.  Now he can’t breathe right!”

            Pausing the video, I told the children, “Amelia’s right.  It isn’t nice to make Rudolph cover his nose just because it’s different.  I think the person who wrote this story didn’t know that Santa would never make Rudolph do something like that just because he’s different.  Santa loves all of us, no matter what we look like.  If Rudolph’s friends don’t like his shiny nose, what do you think Santa would really do?”

            Just three- and four-years old, some of the children answered like this:

“He would say, ‘It’s okay.  I like him anyway.”

“I think he would tell everyone to play nice and don’t worry about his nose.”

“He would say, ‘Don’t worry, Rudolph, your nose is pretty.’”

            The irony, of course, is that Santa himself is an imaginary character.  But knowing that, for children, he is a metaphor for unconditional love, I felt it important to defend his image.  It was gratifying to see that the children quickly picked up on the error of the story.  It meant to me that they were grasping the significance of human dignity.  I was anxious to affirm it.

            Every person, by virtue of birth, has dignity.  In other words, every person has an innate right to be treated with respect.  If all people knew this and were guided by its relevance, I believe there would be no more violence toward one another.  Reality is: that’s probably not going to happen.  However, we can minimize violence by teaching our children about human dignity.

            The first step is to recognize dignity in ourselves and in our children.  Rules such as using a respectful voice when speaking to parents, holding a door for a grandparent, or answering when being addressed show children that you expect their consideration because you deserve it.   At the same time, reaching out to children with care models for them how they can expect to be treated by others.  It also clearly shows how you expect children to behave toward one another.

            It is important to remember that human dignity is a quality that can never be lost.  It can be overlooked.  It can be forgotten, but everyone always has dignity and always deserves respect.  When we hear someone criticize, “He’s lost all dignity,” we need to revise that in our own minds to say, “He’s forgotten he has dignity.  How can we remind him?”

            When a person falls on hard times or is consistently mistreated by others she can become distracted by her pain and struggle.  Over time, she is apt to forget how valuable she actually is.  She might begin to act undignified.  But we shouldn’t be fooled.  Her dignity is still there; it’s just been misplaced. It takes a loving person to help her find it again.

            Human dignity is a complicated concept for small children.  It is one that can be “caught” faster than “taught” when we model it for them as they grow and develop.  When we help them learn acceptance and reverence for all people, they will come to recognize their own dignity and they will demand respect.

Rudolph’s Happy Night
(From Peacemakers: The New Generation, Ages 3-5, page 38)

Materials:  Jingle bells for each child, recording of the song “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”

Purpose:  To help children learn to accept differences and respect human dignity.

Gather in the Circle of Peace.  Sit down.  Tell the children that you are thinking of a story about a reindeer named Rudolph. (Note: Though this is traditionally a Christmas story, it can be told at any time of the year.) Many children will recognize the story.  Lead them in telling it through questions:

• What was different about Rudolph? (He had a red nose.)
• What color were the other reindeers’ noses? (Black)
• How did they feel about Rudolph? (Many acceptable answers.)
• What did the other reindeer do to Rudolph? (They called him names.)
• Did they play with him? (No.)
• Oh, dear!  Was that a friendly way to be? (Accept children’s answers.)
• Then what happened one Christmas Eve? (It was foggy and the reindeer couldn’t see.)
• Was Rudolph able to help? (Yes.)
• How did the other reindeer feel about Rudolph after that? (They loved him.)

This is a happy ending!

Pass out jingle bells.  Invite the children to stand and sing the song.

• Shake the bells during the beginning lines.
• Stop the bells and look sad during the lines about the mean reindeer.
• Put the bells to rest on the floor and shake a finger to “tell the story” about one foggy night.
• Change voices for Santa’s words.
• Pick up the bells and dance in circles for the happy ending!

Reproducible for classroom use only. Copyright 2007 E.T.Nedder Publishing

What’s Fair?

(From Peacemakers: The New Generation, Grades 1-3, page 19)

Materials: Several blindfolds, several pairs of mittens (oven mitts will work, but no gloves), a piñata filled with individually wrapped candies (a brown paper bag can substitute for the piñata) and hung in the vicinity, a pole to break the piñata,

Purpose: To experience respect for human dignity and acceptance of differences.

Gather the children in the Circle of Peace.  Remind the children of the rules for playing the game safely.

Rules:

• Each child will be given three tries to break the piñata.
• The others must stand back to avoid being hit by the pole.  (You may want some volunteer spotters.)
• When the piñata first breaks open, everyone FREEZES until they hear the signal.
• When and ADULT yells “GO!” they can dive in and pick up as much candy as they can hold.
• It is unfair to grab candy from another’s hands.
• When all the candy has been picked up, the children will return to the Circle of Peace and be seated.

Before playing the game, randomly pass out blindfolds and mittens to various children.  Tell them that they are to wear these props throughout the game.  Help them put on the blindfolds. Note that some children will have no props.

Play the game.  Children take turns, one at a time, swinging the pole at the piñata, hitting it until it bursts open and the candy falls to the ground.  Traditionally the child swinging the pole is blindfolded.  In this game, if the child has not already been blindfolded, he will swing without it.

After the game, return to the Circle of Peace.  Tell the children they can remove their props. Without noting that some children have more candy than others, ask how they feel about the game.  Are they feeling happy? Sad? Angry?  Why?

Was it fair that some children couldn’t see?  Was it fair that some children couldn’t pick up the candy easily?  Is there any way the children can make the outcome fairer?

Express appreciation to the children who voluntarily share their candy.  Ask if anyone can guess why you played the game this way.  Was there a lesson?

Help the children realize that not everyone in the Family of God has the same abilities. We all have different physical attributes.  Some people can get things more easily than others.  But one thing we all have is dignity.  And dignity gives us the right to be respected and loved.  God likes to see us help one another and share with one another. 

Ask if the children can think of examples from life that might be like the piñata game they just played.

Reproducible for classroom use only. Copyright 2007 E.T.Nedder Publishing

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